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Eight really weird things people say to writers

1st January 2019 By Abidemi Sanusi

When I was asked to edit a book and I said they needed an editor not a writer.

‘And you call yourself a writer.’

When I was asked to read some ‘arty’, impromptu poetry at a wedding, and I said I was an author not a poet.

‘I thought you were a writer.’

10 ThingsNotToSayToaWriter

When I explained to someone that for sales copy, they needed a copywriter, not a content writer.

‘If you didn’t want to write it, all you had to do was say no.’

When I was asked to review a play that someone’s friend’s sister’s cousin grandfather niece 50 years removed had written, and I said I was an author, not a playwright, so probably wouldn’t do a good job.

‘It’s all the same thing though, isn’t it?’

After watching a mesmerising spoken word performance, someone turned to me and said: ‘Why can’t you write and do something like that?’

My response: ‘Because I’m an author not a spoken word artist, mofo.’

From a blast from the past.

‘Did you base that male character on me?’

Thinking to myself:

When I tell people I’m a writer.

‘I’ve got an idea for a book; all you have to do is write it. We’ll split it 60-40. Should be easy enough. Writing’s not that hard.’

Me: ‘Never going to happen.’

The person: Nervous laughter, that dies an unnatural death by my withering gaze, when they realise that:

  1. I have no interest in their idea (it’s usually rubbish anyway)
  2. That they’re not the first to make such a suggestion to me
  3. I really have no interest or patience for this stupid conversation. I want to stomp my feet and have a well-earned fit, just like a child.

‘I’ll read your stuff when I’ve got the time’.

Me: I wasn’t asking you to. I don’t even expect you to.

PS: You can stop avoiding me now because you haven’t read my books – you know who you are.


Also published on Medium.

Filed Under: BLOG

About Abidemi Sanusi

Author. Content Strategist. Entrepreneur. Owner and founder, abidemi.tv (yup,that's this website). Nominated for Commonwealth Writers' Prize. Writes inspirational fiction as Levi Read. Featured in the BBC, Guardian, Independent on Sunday, Reuters. A bit of a foodie.

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